EC:NZ'06 :: Day 10 :: Give Yourself A Chance

Day ten of Epic Camp is notoriously tough. Each EC has been that way. It's not suprising given that nine days of mega training precede day ten. But it's more than that. I think the Head Honchos, the Epic Chiefs, plan it so that day ten is a monster. It's a test day. Mentally as much as physically. Let me tell you, I had more than a few moments where I was stretched mentally today -- as well as physically.

We started the morning early under a steady rain. Not particularly cold at first but I went from my bed to the edge of Lake Brenner for an aquathon in 15mins time. Boom -- it's time to race. The lake swim was about 1600 meters and a hilly, beautiful trail run of about 8k followed. I went hard. I saw Monica digging deep at the turn around and picked it up. She inspires me. We ran the trails through deep standing water, up and down. The carzyness of the race made me smile. Before the swim started I said "the more insane the training the funnier it will be to us later". This day will bring me some laughs down the road. I finished behind some and in front of others.

A quick breakfast and it was time to pack and prepare for the big challenge: Arthur's Pass. The weather was ugly -- so ugly there was question about whether we would be able to go over the top of the pass. It was at least two hours in steady rain to the base of the climb. The temperatures had dropped and I was getting cold. Everyone who was going up had started up and I had to make a decision -- get in the van -- or get going. I got going. Like so many things in life, the decision is often more frightening than the task at hand. I can tell you this -- I knew that I was physically unable to ride over the pass. It was _that_ steep. So, starting at all was scary. I knew it was a long climb and that at some point I would be off the bike and on foot. Move out!

Half way up the pass I asked myself what the hell I was doing there.
Answer: "Everyody has got to be someplace" :-)

I've done things equally tough at epic camp: Desert Road, The Chalet climb, and a few other excursions, but I've never had the angst about any of them that I did about this climb. The point is this: the pain in my mind was worse than the pain that came to my body -- and the pain in my mind if I had not gone over the top via human power would be worse than either of them. That's the best I can explain it.

What condition was I in when I reached our accomodation? I was wrecked, but smiling.
Eyes swollen, drool on my chin, nausea running through my body but as happy as I have ever been as a result of a training ride. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't _that_ tough. It was just very tough. I tell you what's tough, being a 14 year old girl with cancer, facing and conquering eleven months of chemotherapy and radiation. Fighting for your life. You want to see courage -- that's courage. I was just cold, tired and scared.

You see, we can make situations seem worse than they are by over thinking them. I almost talked myself into the van. I almost neglected to try. I've done it before. It's worse than failing. Failing -- for me -- was not trying. I couldn't fail on the climb. I had to get off my bike and walk for 400 meters at one point in the middle, but I would have walked until the next hotel if I had to.

See Yaaa ...